Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
