I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
