Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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