at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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