it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Randomize
