Already got asked if we're dating
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Randomize
