I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
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