I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Randomize
