i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize