she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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