i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.