I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
