Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

Favorite
(828): View more from North Carolina

can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.

(919): View more from North Carolina

wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!

(828): View more from North Carolina

i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(828): can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later. (919): wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here! (828): i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa. http://tfl.nu/e72d

Replies (2) Good night (1051) Bad night (893)
Favorite
(617): View more from Massachusetts

i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(617): i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine http://tfl.nu/ryw8

Replies (33) Good night (834) Bad night (3562)
Favorite
(610): View more from Pennsylvania

i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(610): i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there." http://tfl.nu/12yv

Replies (28) Good night (6997) Bad night (815)
Favorite
(714): View more from California

I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(714): I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness. http://tfl.nu/2r5a

Replies (20) Good night (4032) Bad night (930)
Favorite
(240): View more from Maryland

I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(240): I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you. http://tfl.nu/xn7n

Replies (41) Good night (11517) Bad night (1470)
Favorite
(607): View more from New York

no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(607): no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not. http://tfl.nu/m099

Replies (4) Good night (3670) Bad night (845)
Favorite
(630): View more from Illinois

Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(630): Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus. http://tfl.nu/ls1i

Replies (4) Good night (1961) Bad night (1138)
Favorite
(248): View more from Michigan

Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(248): Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins. http://tfl.nu/7yz7

Replies (2) Good night (1677) Bad night (987)
Favorite
(404): View more from Georgia

Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(404): Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish. http://tfl.nu/tpdo

Replies (15) Good night (1034) Bad night (3789)
Favorite
(806): View more from Texas

There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(806): There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night. http://tfl.nu/26q0

Replies (4) Good night (507) Bad night (988)
Favorite
(443): View more from Maryland

I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(443): I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best http://tfl.nu/exu8

Replies (6) Good night (1655) Bad night (457)
Favorite
(204): View more from Manitoba

I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(204): I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle http://tfl.nu/o3ji

Replies (4) Good night (1789) Bad night (407)
Favorite
(202): View more from Washington, DC

Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(202): Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion. http://tfl.nu/a0fi

Replies (0) Good night (417) Bad night (227)
Favorite
(613): View more from Ontario

I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere

(514): View more from Quebec

Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(613): I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere (514): Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever http://tfl.nu/1t8i

Replies (6) Good night (1236) Bad night (352)
Favorite
(479): View more from Arkansas

Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(479): Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast. http://tfl.nu/ay73

Replies (1) Good night (856) Bad night (303)

Randomize

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Find Us On: