Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(262): View more from Wisconsin

foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.

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(540): View more from Virginia

just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever

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(703): View more from Virginia

He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.

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(720): View more from Colorado

It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.

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19 Parents Admit the Lies They’ve Told Their Children
Read it at the TFLN blog
(610): View more from Pennsylvania

He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks

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(847): View more from Illinois

no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.

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(513): View more from Ohio

It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.

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(859): View more from Kentucky

Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.

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(404): View more from Georgia

Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"

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