Texts From Last Night

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  (540): View more from Virginia

  It was kinda weird being the boss

  (1-540): View more from Virginia

  Did you feel like Tony Danza?

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  (540): It was kinda weird being the boss (1-540): Did you feel like Tony Danza? http://tfl.nu/xn58
  Replies (1) Good night (1689) Bad night (619)
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  (914): View more from New York

  this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.

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  (914): this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again. http://tfl.nu/zwji
  Replies (5) Good night (2437) Bad night (690)
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!

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  (202): Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER! http://tfl.nu/jion
  Replies (30) Good night (4958) Bad night (811)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.

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  (612): and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me. http://tfl.nu/2uzy
  Replies (21) Good night (836) Bad night (6614)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.

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  (215): I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk. http://tfl.nu/289e
  Replies (12) Good night (4796) Bad night (1144)
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  (510): View more from California

  I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.

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  (510): I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding. http://tfl.nu/nbx9
  Replies (2) Good night (2223) Bad night (1253)
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  (559): View more from California

  I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.

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  (559): I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface. http://tfl.nu/l63d
  Replies (6) Good night (1350) Bad night (738)
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  (218): View more from Minnesota

  My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.

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  (218): My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery. http://tfl.nu/81gc
  Replies (8) Good night (1243) Bad night (475)
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"

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  (913): He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat" http://tfl.nu/few2
  Replies (7) Good night (1506) Bad night (627)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.

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  (206): I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family. http://tfl.nu/468g
  Replies (1) Good night (1457) Bad night (407)
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  (716): View more from New York

  I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun

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  (716): I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun http://tfl.nu/488y
  Replies (0) Good night (854) Bad night (321)
• Favorite

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free

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  (781): my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free http://tfl.nu/f62q
  Replies (9) Good night (2171) Bad night (408)
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  (903): View more from Texas

  I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.

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  (903): I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat. http://tfl.nu/c6vl
  Replies (3) Good night (1017) Bad night (334)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert

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  (203): I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert http://tfl.nu/7kxa
  Replies (2) Good night (453) Bad night (380)
• Favorite

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.

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  (612): I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist. http://tfl.nu/coy1
  Replies (2) Good night (518) Bad night (334)

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