Texts From Last Night

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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.

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  (202): I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar. http://tfl.nu/npd2
  Replies (7) Good night (2716) Bad night (622)
• Favorite

  (636): View more from Missouri

  I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.

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  (636): I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher. http://tfl.nu/pfmp
  Replies (132) Good night (8510) Bad night (842)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.

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  (541): i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar. http://tfl.nu/crfd
  Replies (7) Good night (3250) Bad night (1910)
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted

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  (860): I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted http://tfl.nu/x75x
  Replies (7) Good night (4136) Bad night (634)
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.

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  (215): I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex. http://tfl.nu/q0wq
  Replies (8) Good night (1068) Bad night (3027)
• Favorite

  (626): View more from California

  One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska

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  (626): One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska http://tfl.nu/5za1
  Replies (16) Good night (4516) Bad night (1354)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.

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  (303): We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates. http://tfl.nu/w536
  Replies (8) Good night (2697) Bad night (473)
• Favorite

  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct

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  (262): This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct http://tfl.nu/f86t
  Replies (6) Good night (1291) Bad night (598)
• Favorite

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!

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  (781): I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!! http://tfl.nu/j0eq
  Replies (7) Good night (1687) Bad night (539)
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.

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  (717): Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers. http://tfl.nu/8bi9
  Replies (6) Good night (1206) Bad night (398)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.

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  (703): I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM. http://tfl.nu/2ycx
  Replies (4) Good night (1009) Bad night (400)
• Favorite

  (702): View more from Nevada

  We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.

  (843): View more from South Carolina

  You're the best wingman ever.

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  (702): We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you. (843): You're the best wingman ever. http://tfl.nu/wgzf
  Replies (13) Good night (2524) Bad night (607)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  I can dry shave vagina like a champ

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  (512): I can dry shave vagina like a champ http://tfl.nu/x1sm
  Replies (20) Good night (587) Bad night (1782)
• Favorite

  (936): View more from Texas

  Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.

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  (936): Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life. http://tfl.nu/qbmn
  Replies (6) Good night (596) Bad night (491)
• Favorite

  (210): View more from Texas

  hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes

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  (210): hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes http://tfl.nu/7n4w
  Replies (3) Good night (307) Bad night (282)

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