Texts From Last Night

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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.

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  (402): Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie. http://tfl.nu/vbht
  Replies (15) Good night (2257) Bad night (668)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.

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  (717): Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire. http://tfl.nu/xlxu
  Replies (11) Good night (1179) Bad night (2498)
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  (808): View more from Hawaii

  mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.

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  (808): mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done. http://tfl.nu/ufw3
  Replies (7) Good night (2107) Bad night (1106)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"

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  (360): I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!" http://tfl.nu/wn2w
  Replies (9) Good night (1781) Bad night (837)
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  (239): View more from Florida

  I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.

  (1-239): View more from Florida

  I told you I'd buy you lunch.

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  (239): I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail. (1-239): I told you I'd buy you lunch. http://tfl.nu/jsln
  Replies (8) Good night (1107) Bad night (1895)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk

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  (443): Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk http://tfl.nu/uult
  Replies (1) Good night (1296) Bad night (624)
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  (909): View more from California

  I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.

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  (909): I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today. http://tfl.nu/n0ax
  Replies (4) Good night (1263) Bad night (557)
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  (727): View more from Florida

  There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.

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  (727): There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW. http://tfl.nu/nqj8
  Replies (6) Good night (827) Bad night (394)
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  (712): View more from Iowa

  when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face

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  (712): when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face http://tfl.nu/ax1i
  Replies (7) Good night (1362) Bad night (491)
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  (312): View more from Illinois

  So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short

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  (312): So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short http://tfl.nu/ro22
  Replies (4) Good night (826) Bad night (397)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.

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  (407): I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case. http://tfl.nu/43fa
  Replies (6) Good night (761) Bad night (388)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.

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  (330): If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest. http://tfl.nu/8ghs
  Replies (2) Good night (815) Bad night (306)
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  (707): View more from California

  I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.

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  (707): I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town. http://tfl.nu/lgoh
  Replies (2) Good night (659) Bad night (284)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  ...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.

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  (+44): ...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like. http://tfl.nu/l06q
  Replies (0) Good night (385) Bad night (261)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?

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  (814): I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door? http://tfl.nu/c2rg
  Replies (2) Good night (428) Bad night (154)

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