Texts From Last Night

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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Who wears a wallet chain?!

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  (203): Who wears a wallet chain?! http://tfl.nu/1rec
  Replies (40) Good night (587) Bad night (2399)
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  (253): View more from Washington

  My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?

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  (253): My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable? http://tfl.nu/rdbs
  Replies (13) Good night (2745) Bad night (758)
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  (909): View more from California

  dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.

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  (909): dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting. http://tfl.nu/kj58
  Replies (11) Good night (607) Bad night (3492)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls

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  (508): I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls http://tfl.nu/izkj
  Replies (4) Good night (1979) Bad night (1366)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.

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  (412): Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym. http://tfl.nu/9hgw
  Replies (15) Good night (2571) Bad night (1017)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..

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  (815): It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar.. http://tfl.nu/fcka
  Replies (0) Good night (1327) Bad night (723)
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  (864): View more from South Carolina

  Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?

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  (864): Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members? http://tfl.nu/kgk2
  Replies (15) Good night (693) Bad night (1963)
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  (310): View more from California

  I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.

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  (310): I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied. http://tfl.nu/wnhg
  Replies (13) Good night (4573) Bad night (825)
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell

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  (702): One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell http://tfl.nu/48fd
  Replies (8) Good night (805) Bad night (444)
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  (760): View more from California

  Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly

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  (760): Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly http://tfl.nu/j8y5
  Replies (3) Good night (867) Bad night (392)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning

  (1-917): View more from New York City

  I love you more by the minute

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  (917): I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning (1-917): I love you more by the minute http://tfl.nu/4g8c
  Replies (6) Good night (1443) Bad night (329)
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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.

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  (803): Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know. http://tfl.nu/qron
  Replies (1) Good night (313) Bad night (556)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.

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  (609): Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order. http://tfl.nu/89fj
  Replies (8) Good night (296) Bad night (1042)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws

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  (519): If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws http://tfl.nu/udrk
  Replies (1) Good night (422) Bad night (223)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.

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  (519): Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice. http://tfl.nu/3hl9
  Replies (11) Good night (598) Bad night (192)

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