Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(267): View more from Pennsylvania

This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.

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(313): View more from Michigan

sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test

(1-313): View more from Michigan

but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.

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(805): View more from California

as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"

(1-805): View more from California

uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win

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27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
Read it at the TFLN blog
(401): View more from Rhode Island

The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.

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(703): View more from Virginia

I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.

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(937): View more from Ohio

pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...

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(423): View more from Tennessee

I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.

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(785): View more from Kansas

HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night

(785): View more from Kansas

and flaming arrows and vodka

(785): View more from Kansas

how did we not set your garage on fire

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