and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
It's like fucking tetris in this bed