a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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