He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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