Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
