you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
