Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
