i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
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I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
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Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
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