His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
She told me I should be a condom model.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize