What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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