Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Randomize
