You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
