he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
