I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
