if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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