I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
