Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
A+ Viking dick
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
