You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
only you would photoshop your dick
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
