Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
