so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
