He is such a slut. More and more my type.
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
