apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Randomize
