I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
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