Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
