there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Randomize
