Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Randomize
