i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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