His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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