one might say we're banned from that church
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
