If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
