the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
