I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
