he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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