i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
