It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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