were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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