I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
