I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
