first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
