Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize