I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
