she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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