good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Randomize
