why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
