Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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