Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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