THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
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