I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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