I CAN MOONWALK!
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
