the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
