I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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