Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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