Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
