if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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