just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
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