I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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