I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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