Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Randomize