and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Randomize
