also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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