If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
