I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize